| Duties of the Yard |
[Aug. 15th, 2008|11:26 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | A Minha Menina-Os Mutantes | ] |
So, I am a yard duty at an elementary school now, and the other day, this little Asian kid was in the lunch line and then started raising his hand. So like a good yard duty, I went up to the kid and asked him what he needed. He pointed to a small black button that was covered by a cage, but you could still easily press the button through the cage, and he asked me what it did. I told him that if you pressed it 5 times, the school would explode. Then he started freaking out.
Yeah... I'm a yard duty. |
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| WALL·E |
[Aug. 8th, 2008|10:23 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | 5 Years Time-Noah and the Whale | ] |
I recently saw WALL·E this morning, and I have been thinking about it throughout the day.
It was a nice heartwarming movie and I understood the message pretty clearly: If we don't recycle, the human race will have to take a 700 year cruise, in which we will all evolve into a giant glob of fat with small appendages and tiny brains. And I like that, it's real down to earth. Still, there is still something that just didn't sit well with me upon finishing the movie. The movie just wasn't realistic enough. I know it wasn't supposed to be realistic, but I just think it could have been more realistic. What would WALL·E be like if they did try to make it a bit more believable, you might ask? Well, this is what it would be like:
We start out with Earth having so much trash, so we invent WALL·E, to help reduce our trash problems. However, this was just a second rate plan because we couldn't really think of anything else. We then realize that this plan isn't working when the Earth is no longer able to sustain life, so we ask the almighty president of a major corporation specializing in a chain of department stores what to do. This man is an idiot and only got the job through luck and some serious butt-kissing. He thinks long and hard and then reveals to us that the only solution is to send everyone on a luxurious cruise, and just wait until we can live on Earth again. No one can think of anything better, so we all grudgingly agree. Now, up to this point, this pretty much sounds exactly like how the movie was, however, this is where it gets a bit different. So the human race leaves on their luxurious cruise, however the WALL·E units are left alone by themselves. Now, we make sure to bring all of our movies with us, just in case we get bored, but for some reason, we accidentally leave behind a copy of the musical Hello Dolly. The WALL·E units continue picking up their trash, because we are jerks and never told them we were leaving, until one day one of the WALL·E units stumbles upon Hello Dolly. He realizes that Dolly, rhymes with WALL·E, so he figures that this is some important news. He gathers all the other WALL·E units to come watch the movie and then they all watch it. This movie teaches them emotion and the learn what love is. They all long to feel this emotion, so they all start holding each other's hands. However, they all start realizing that the feeling of rusty cold metal against rusty cold metal doesn't evoke the feelings they are looking for. Upon this realization, they also realize that they probably will never find love, even though they long for it so much. This causes them to learn some new emotions, fear and hatred. Some of this fear and hatred goes to some of the WALL·E unit's heads, and they start going on a killing rampage. During the first 172 years of Earth's cruise, something known as "the WALL·E wars" occurred. During the WALL·E wars, all of the WALL·E units destroyed each other in an epic battle royal. The champion WALL·E unit has no idea what to do now that the war is over, so he continues picking up trash. 256 years after the wars, an incident occurs where one of his trash piles collapse on him and hits his reset button. This ceases an existence of even artificial life on earth. About 650 years after the human race's cruise ship left, a tumbleweed accidentally rolls over the WALL·E unit's on button, and he was rebooted, however he had no recollection of prior events. His original programming kicked in and he continued getting rid of trash. About 25 years after that, he accidentally ran over a remote control. This remote control was to the dvd player that the WALL·E units used to watch Hello Dolly. During this period of 675 years, no one had ever turned the dvd player off, so when he ran over the remote, it hit play and Hello Dolly started. Mesmerized by the images, he sat and watched it over and over again, until he became obsessed with it. Also, once again, he was taught the emotion of love. For around 25 more years, WALL·E wishes to find someone to love, but can't find anyone who will love him back. He tries to drown out this fact by collecting trash, which actually works pretty well. He continues doing this until about 700 years after the cruise ship left. Around this time, one of our space ships, that returns to earth looking for sustainable life on Earth. It releases one of it's EVE units, which looks for the life, and the WALL·E unit falls in love with it, do to it being the only other robot he has ever seen. Of course, EVE is only focused on getting the job done, for the human race was able to perfect getting their robots to not learn emotion, so she never returns the feelings to the WALL·E unit. This disgruntles him a lot, but he still tries to win her heart, which runs off a battery. The WALL·E unit gave her a plant he found earlier, and she receives it in her compartment. When the ship returns to get her, the WALL·E unit gets on the ship as well, which returns to the cruise ship. Upon getting to this cruise ship, it is revealed that all human life has fallen to obesity and uses very little brain power, due to a lack of inactivity for 700 hundred years on a cruise ship. Also, the ship has run out fresh fruit. WALL·E notices all these life forms and also notices other robots. He decides he can't spend his whole life chasing one person, so he goes on and tries to find other female robots to love. Also around this time, the EVE unit returns to the Captain and delivers the plant to him. The captain really doesn't know what to do, but soon learns about what Earth is like, and thinks it's really cool, so he tells everyone they are going back to earth. So they start their week long journey back to Earth. During this week, WALL·E continues to fail to find a lover. With the absence of love, once again, it learns two new emotions, fear and hatred. Also, the WALL·E unit to go insane, due to his multiple failures. So several hours before the ship's return to Earth, WALL·E disconnects the power of all the robots on board, then destroys the human race. The humans try to fight back, but due to their life of inactivity and over eating, they don't do a very good job of it. This marks the end of the human race. The WALL·E unit then returns to earth and spends the remainder of his life trying to build someone to love him. He never succeeds though and about 400 years after the destruction of the human race, a meteor hits earth, and coincidentally, smashes WALL·E. This is where the movie would end.
As you can see, this version of the movie would be a lot more informative and less people would probably see it. |
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| The Ralph Waldo Emerson Transcendentalist Puppy Bowl Olympics |
[Jul. 23rd, 2008|11:30 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Livermore Park | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | three adverbs | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Why do you let me stay here? -She & Him | ] |
Today marked the first official Ralph Waldo Emerson Transcendentalist Puppy Bowl Olympics, held at Livermore Park.
For those of you unfamiliar with this set of games, here is a brief history.
In the mid 1800s, Ralph Waldo Emerson was big on transcendentalism, so he set up a bunch of games, and if you could figure out how to do them and complete them, you have become a more enlightened person. These games have been practiced many times by French people, Body Builders, and Cavemen many times, but today marks the first annual time these games have been played.
Now that you know the history, I will go off into the games that were played.
1. In the first game, you find a harmonica, a kazoo, a cowbell, a flag, and a wheel-o. Upon going to these things, you must find a way to use all of them at once.
2. There is a ball on top of a dr. pepper can and you must hit this ball with a croquet mallet into a pencil cup.
3. Then there was a section where you had to write a statement on the cement with black tape.
4. My personal favorite game, is where you must pogostick and read Langston Hughes poems. What makes this challenging is that you must wear noise cancelling headphones and you must read the poems loud enough so you can hear them.
5. This game involves three bottles and a volley ball. In normal games including these things, you must knock these bottles down. However, in this game, you must knock the bottles up. Later, it was changed to knock the bottles down.
6. The last game brings out the creative side in you. There is a bag of cat food, a bag of sand, and a bag with hacky sack in it. You must use these things to create art.
Now for the four original contestants who started out the games.
Speags, Daniel, David, and Matt.
To kick off the games, Daniel, David, and Matt put on ridiculous get-ups and ran through volley ball courts, while people were actually playing games of volleyball. I (Speags), was not taking part of this, for I was filming it. Probably one day, the footage of it will be replaced with this sentence. Then after that, we began with the games. Daniel proved to be a master at the first game by sticking the kazoo up his nose, playing the harmonic and banging the cowbell with the flag in one hand, and in the other, spinning the wheel-o. Matt attempted mastering the Langston Hughes poetry pogo, and did quite well reading the poetry, but failed miserably at pogoing the pogo. Upon us performing the games, we seemed to draw a crowd of 1 younger child. Also, a boy riding a bicycle rode by and David and I declared that he was the winner. A few minutes later, we invited our one spectator to join in on the game and in no time, two of her acquaintances joined in. It was a real hootenanny! They really liked the knocking down bottles game. Daniel revealed to them, that I was the master of these games and that I had been doing this since the 70s. I denied it, but I was persuaded to show off my impressive skills. I took the volleyball and got in the most ridiculous position I could, then I told the kids that it was all about the form. I then tossed the ball and somehow hit all three of them down. The kids seemed pretty impressed. Later I saw Daniel use the same form, and he hit all of them as well. So it really was all in the form. Daniel then expressed his creativity by making a symbol with some cat food. Then I made a unicorn. Then I smashed it with the croquet mallet. Daniel seemed to be the best at the game where you hit the ball into the pencil cup, although he only made it when there was no dr. pepper bottle, but it was ok, for he hit it in between his legs, which made up for it. One of the kids, got so good at the knock down bottles game, that he hit them all down 4 times in a row and ended up breaking one of the bottles, he was declared national champion. I think he also did it since the 70s. Also during these games, the people who were not me's friend, Sophia joined us, but she only watched. Eventually we grew weary of these games, and a race was organized. Everyone was on bikes except for Matt and I. Matt chose to skip, and I was forced to the pogostick. The epic race then started and everyone was off in a blur. Everyone was finished while I had gone like 10 feet. Then I just cheated and ran the rest of the way. Then Daniel showed up. Then we all congregated to the sand and played hot potato. The person who got out had to go in the middle and make music. Once they stopped making music, the person who had the hot potato, or in this case a volley ball, was the new music maker. This was the last game that was played, however.
In conclusion, the Ralph Waldo Emerson Transcendentalist Puppy Bowl Olympics, is in fact the most amazing set of games ever created in the history of everything. |
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| Ambercrombie and Fitch |
[Jul. 13th, 2008|01:07 am] |
| [ | music |
| | Handpocket - Best Friends Forever | ] |
While riding the escalator to get a soda, I saw Ambercrombie and Fitch. I haven't had good experiences with that store in the past, in fact, I have only been inside of it once, and it was the gayest I had ever felt. Anyways, as I was riding the escalator, I noticed a giant picture of a shirtless man, pulling down his pants. They didn't even show the man's face, it was just his body. Upon noticing this, I remembered hearing that in some of the stores, they have actual shirtless men standing at the front entrance. As I thought more, I realized that it is mostly females who shop there. It is rare that you see a man with ambercrombie and fitch written across his chest, and when you do see it, it seems like that individual tries too hard to be stylish. So, if it is mostly girls who shop there, and they continue to display giant half naked men in their campaign to advertise, then this advertisement must be working. And if girls are, in fact, drawn by these half naked men, and it does, in fact, help get them to shop there, then my question is this:
Why aren't more men shopping at Victoria's Secret? |
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| Arts |
[Jul. 12th, 2008|04:03 pm] |
I think I am going to make an Art Exhibit somewhere, like in front of Walmart or at the park or something, and display my beautiful crayon drawings. That way rich entrepreneurs will purchase them for millions of dollars.
Here are some samples of my works:
( Sample Arts ) |
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| Real Life Events and Things I drew in Paint |
[Jun. 19th, 2008|11:11 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | Lolita-Throw Me The Statue | ] |
I think crazy people who use public transportation are just faking it, for when I was using public transportation, a man sat across from me and started laughing creepily. I chose to ignore it, and after a minute or so, he stopped doing it and started talking normally to his friend who was sitting a few seats down.
Recently, while driving, I passed a bunch of sinks laying in the dirt with a big sign that said SINK SALE! next to them.
I buy a lot of CDs at Dimple Records, but none of the employees have bothered to ask me my name. How will they know that I like to buy CDs?
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| Beirut and Unfortunate Events Surrounding It. |
[May. 30th, 2008|01:20 am] |
| [ | music |
| | Beirut Music and Such | ] |
Hello, I drove to San Fransisco and saw Beirut play in concert. However, when I wasn't seeing beautiful music being performed, bad things happened to me.
Unfortunate Events Before Beirut
-I planned on going to my friend Mandi's house before Beirut, but when I got there, I was early. So I waited until when I said I would be there, then I waited in front of the door of her apartment building. However, I only continued waiting. while waiting I saw a plastic bag go really really high. Also, a guy with down syndrome approached me and asked why I was waiting there. I told him I was waiting for someone and when he asked who, and I said Mandi, he seemed no longer interested in the conversation we were having, but continued talking to me for a few more moments and then went inside the building. I waited a while more, and then I heard Mandi's voice, and strangely I also heard the down syndrome guy's voice. I walked in the building and saw Mandi and the Down Syndrome guy near the elevator. I don't really know why that guy was there, I am not even sure if he lived in the apartment.
-We watched part of the movie Big Fish, which was not unfortunate at all. It was really good. But I drank two water bottles on the car trip, and told myself I should go pee when I get there, and I didn't.
-Mandi and I walked to the Muni station, and she told me to get off at Van Ness and the venue would be on the corner of 11th and Market. I got on the train and remembered that it would be important for me to get a transfer. I really had no idea how do do this though. I read all the signs to figure it out, but none of them really helped me. After a while of riding the Muni, I found a sign I had missed. It said that in order to get a transfer, you must be in the first car and I was in the last car. This worried me, for I remember Mandi telling me that you need a transfer or bad things will happen. I knew that I must do something drastic. At the next stop, I darted out of the car I was in and hopped into the first car. I made it, but still had no idea how to get a transfer. I boldly asked some guy though, and he told me to just go up to a window that was near the front of a car. Then I did that, and all I had to do is put money in a slot and grab one. I think I did too much for that tiny slip of paper.
-I got to Van Ness station, and then walked out into the big city. I felt like Nelson Hibbert in the very first seen of The Wrong Guy. So happy, excited, and complete oblivious to everything around me. I walked over to Market and 11th, and did not see the Venue. I looked all around, did not see a venue. I walked around for about a half hour, still completely happy and stupid, and did not see it. I had no idea where it could be.
-I then saw two kids asking various people questions. They looked like the sort of kids who would like Beirut, so I went up to them. I intervened into one of their conversations while they were looking for directions, and they realized that I too was going to see Beirut. I told them I was going to stick with them for a while. One of the kids contacted one of his friends and then figured out where the venue was. We started walking toward the venue and it was entirely awkward. They would have conversations that I didn't really take part in and when I did strike up a conversation, it never ended well. I also made a really lame elephant joke, like really lame. I think the worst though, was when I had a conversation with the homeless man who was selling cheeseburgers from Burger King to try to buy some sandals. I think it made them uncomfortable, especially when he kind of brought them into the conversation. All in all, the long walk that was ahead of us was just awkward. And while I enjoy awkwardness and think it's funny, those kids didn't seem to enjoy it and I felt bad that they had to endure my presence.
-We eventually made it inside. One of those kids' friends came up to them and greeted them and then asked who I was. I told him that he would probably never talk to me the whole night so my name wouldn't be important at all. I then left that group and went on to search for Brian and Brittany. I looked around for them, but couldn't find them, until eventually, I saw them sitting on a balcony. I started jumping up and down and waving my arms. After a minute or so, Brian saw me and motioned that I should come up there. I tried to motion to him that I didn't know how to get up there, but I don't think he understood it. At the time of all this, there was a band playing, and they were playing a slow paced song in which it was easy to hear things. After realizing Brian would not understand me anytime soon, I shouted, "I DON'T KNOW HOW!" My shout was louder than the band and was completely unnecessary.
-I then decided to go and try to find the balcony. On my way I found a merchandise booth and bought a t-shirt. They also had free posters with a purchase. I then walked up to the balcony to where they were sitting, which was the very top corner. When I sat down, the first thing I noticed was a very large stereo in front of me, blocking my view. I could not endure that. I knew that something must be done about that. That is when I realized I forgot my poster. So I went down to the merchandise booth, held up my t-shirt, then snatched a poster. I went back up to figure out my seating problem. I ended up sitting behind them. I really didn't think the seats were that good. I could see about 3/4 of the stage and it was a side view. Which was ok, but I really didn't think they were great. But I am probably wrong and I got used to it eventually.
Why Beirut Was Incredibly Awesome
-There were two opening bands. The first one, being the one that was playing when I got there, was called Apple Miner Colony. They were pretty amazing. They were like a bunch of high school kids. They had like a 14 year old girl playing a banjo. But they sounded incredible. I kept thinking they must be incredibly stoked that they are opening for Beirut. The second band was called The Brunettes. They were fantastic as well. They were from a different country too, I think New Zealand. There was this one song where this lady in the band played the harmonica and whistled in the same song. It was incredible.
-There was like 10 billion people for Beirut. They were all varying as well. That usually isn't that great, but it's always nice to see a lot of people who like good music.
-When Beirut came on, it was amazing. They're music is incredibly beautiful live. If they were ever given the chance to conduct an orchestra, they could make some really beautiful symphonies and concertos. Zach Condon also made cool conductor motions. I think it made the show better.
-They played a ton of songs. Like a lot.
-Then the show ended, but there was still of course an encore. It was a good encore.
-Once the encore was over, the lights were still on. Brian and Brittany didn't think that there was going to be another encore, but I was absolutely 100 percent positive that there was gonna be another one. They were convinced otherwise. They began leaving, and I began to follow, but I ran back every once in a while, thinking the cheers got louder, and they would follow, but they weren't back up. Then as we were inches by the door, the cheers were definitely loud enough for second encore status. We went back inside and they were back on stage. The second encore was probably my favorite part of the show, for the song they played was incredible. It didn't really sound like a Beirut song to me, but it sounded like a cool Mexican song. I really dug it.
-When they left the stage again, the lights were still on. I was pretty sure they were gonna come back out, but this time I had a little doubt. I had never been to show with a third encore before, and didn't think there was such a thing. I don't think Brittany and Brian thought there was gonna be one though, for they left once more. This time however, they went to the merchandise table to buy one of the opening bands albums. Not too far after, cheers erupted from the audience, I went to go check and they were back up there. I notified Brian and Brittany and we dashed back to the concert area. They then played there third encore.
-They then finished, and I think they left the lights on again, but the audience started piling out, so I didn't really think there would be a 4th encore. Brittany and Brian then bought their cd, and then Brittany and I waited for Brian to congratulate the opening bands on their wonderful performance. When that was over with, I asked if I could hitch a ride down to the Muni station that I was so very far away from. They agreed to take me and then I was off to bad events again.
Unfortunate Events After Beirut
-Brian, Brittany, and I walked over to the parking structure to go get into the car. When we got there, there was a huge line, in which we thought they were waiting for the elevator. So we took the stairs up to the car. As we got there, I was asked to take a picture of Brian And Brittany, in which I did so. I also took a picture of a bunch of girls in a car next to us. After the picture taking experience, we got in the car. We maybe drove a few feet when Brian was having a problem with the lights. He then stopped the car and refused to go until Brittany told him how to work them (for it was her car). Brittany didn't really know how to work them though, but eventually she figured it out somehow and we were on our way out of there. However, when we were almost out, Brian realized he had forgotten to pay for the parking. They asked me if I would go pay for it, and I said sure, and they handed me a twenty dollar bill. I walked out and noticed that the line was out the door. I walked back to the car and mentioned this to them, but they told me to go back, for it was the only way to get out of there. I then waited in the line. I continued to wait for a while, and tried to see how Brian and Brittany were doing. It wasn't long before they were first in line and keeping a number of cars from getting out of there. As I waited longer, I noticed someone get out of their car and talk to them. That is when Brittany came out, looking a bit stressed and came up to me. She then told me to explain the situation to these people and let us go first. Everyone in the line was looking at us already so I turned and looked at them and said, "She's mad, can we go first?" The people were nice enough to let us go first, and it was explained to them that we were first and holding up traffic. We then payed and ran back to the car. People in the other cars started clapping, so I took a bow. Then I got in the car and we were out of there.
-On our way out of there, Brian was ultra stressed out. He was swearing and yelling at cars and making mistakes while driving. He then explained how stressful the situation was. It was really quite funny. Like usually when someone is stressed out, you feel kind of awkward and not right, but Brian made it funny. Just the way he explained how stressful the situation was amusing. I am impressed on how he did that. Anyways, they continued to drive me down to the Muni Station and then we got there, and we said our goodbyes.
-I walked down to the Muni Station and when I got there, I realized that I had no idea which train I was supposed to take. I asked some lady and she told me I was to take M. So I waited for M, and as I did this I realized that I could either take M outward or M inward. For a while, I thought I was supposed to go outward, but later saw some signs and realized that I was to go inward. Right as I realized this, the M train came.
-I got on the train and then sat down, trying to remember what the stop I got off looked like. I really had no idea, so I decided I would just guess. After passing a whole load of stops, I got to a stop that looked like the one I was supposed to get off at. When I got off of it, I realized it was the wrong one.
-I didn't think it was too far away, so I decided to just walk to the next stop. As I walked, I made up a musical about trees, which occupied my time. I then got to the right stop, in which I had to walk back to Mandi's apartment. I walked there kind of guessing the way, but it wasn't too hard. It was kind of cold, but I sang some Mary Poppins songs to make myself feel better.
-I then got to Mandi's apartment. Her roommate gave me some food which was very nice of him, and Mandi let me watch a little more of Big Fish. These were all very good things, but once again, I forgot to go to the bathroom, which I hadn't done the whole trip.
-After Mandi's, I started my drive home. I was so very tired the whole entire drive. I decided to just speed the whole way home and I made a 3 hour drive into an hour and a half drive. Towards the end of the drive, my abstinence of peeing was starting to catch up with me. It was a short drive, but I was so tired and eventually had to pee, so the short drive was a miserable one.
All in all, Beirut was totally worth the bad stuff. |
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| Tally Hall IV |
[May. 21st, 2008|07:05 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | adventured | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Tallyest of Halls | ] |
My friend, Tyler, my brother, Brandon, and I drove down to San Fransisco to go see tally hall play live in concert, and this is an account of certain events that happened :
Actually it isn't...
yet.
So we will start off this tale in this setting. We were on the freeway. We had been driving for a while now, and Tyler was showing me his amazing drawings that he created during class. Prior to him showing me these drawings, I told him a story about this one time that I was driving on the freeway, I passed this sign that said Strabrewies, for it was advertising strawberries, however it was spelled wrong, which was amusing to me. I mention this fact, for as he was showing me his drawings, we passed the very same sign. When this happened, I could feel that today was not going to be an ordinary day. The fact that we were going to see Tally Hall play a show proved that already, but this event only made it more true. Then, as the drive went on, I noticed this part of the carpool lane that separated into an on ramp, but still claimed to go in the same direction that I wanted to go. Every other time I have traveled to San Fransisco, I have been hesitant to go on this ramp, but I consulted Tyler and he said that I should go for it, so I did. It was probably one of the greatest decisions in the history of forever. It was an amazing little shortcut, we went up the on ramp and it was like a little bridge that cut across all the traffic. I would do it again if given the chance. Those were pretty much all the interesting events that happened during the drive, so I will skip ahead to when we arrived.
We then arrived, and searched for a place to park. The cheapest place was also the shadiest looking place, but it was cheap, so we went there. We parked in the place and the guy came up to our car. I talked with him about how much money it would cost, and the sign said 10 dollar parking, but as I was talking to him, it seemed like he was making up what the price was. As I told him we were probably gonna be there passed midnight, he let us know that it would be 15 dollars. So we paid the money, got what we needed, left the place, then wandered off into San Fransisco. First we walked over to the venue to find out where it was. Once we did that, both Tyler and Brandon both had to go to the bathroom, so we tried to find a bathroom. After walking for a long time, and passing a million places that had customer only bathrooms, we came across a car garage place that had a bathroom plain in sight. Brandon didn't even bother to ask and just walked in the bathroom. When he got out, the guy working there got mad at him, so Tyler decided it would be best to find a different bathroom. We eventually did and then our bathroom search was over. We then headed back to the Venue and
-strabrewies
-amazing shortcut
-shady parking
-finding a bathroom
-using a bathroom
-have a ball with my paper
-man with a purple broom
-we were will smith
-bowser's pizza
-waiting in line
-carolina liar
-that other band where I touched that guys shoe
-de nova dahl
-tally hall
-annoying drunk chicks
-post tally hall
-extreme coldness
-ghetto hitchhiker |
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| To San Fransisco and Back Again |
[May. 16th, 2008|01:35 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | euphoric happiness | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Music of Ferraby Lionheart | ] |
'Twas May 15th of the year 2008 and I was getting ready to leave for San Fransisco to go see Ferraby Lionheart perform at a concert. I had already had a fantastic day for somehow getting a way higher grade in my social psychology class than what I thought I was going to get. I could tell that today was going to be a spectacular day. It was about 1:00 when I started getting my stuff together. I made sure I had all the important things I needed. I also made 3 sandwiches and even ate one before I left and then just threw the other two carelessly in my car. At about 1:30 I had gathered all my things and I was off on the open road. The 3 hour car ride their was highly uneventful, but I suppose their were a few interesting things to note:
1. While driving, I saw a piece of wood jumping up and down in the middle of the road, figuratively of course. As I passed it, it jumped up and hit my front windshield. If I had of been driving a convertible with the top down, it would have smacked me directly in the face.
2.I tried to teach myself how to play the harmonica.
3.I belted out the lyrics to a lot of the songs I was listening to, which I think my voice seem a little monotonous for the remainder of the day.
It was a pretty bland car ride, but it was smooth and there wasn't too much traffic except for a little portion. Then eventually I got to the street where Mandi's apartment was (Mandi was joining me for the concert). It took me a while to figure out where I should park and after about 10 or 15 minutes I decided to park in this one spot. I could only park there for 2 hours however, but that restriction ended at 6:00 p.m. and it happened to be 3:56 p.m. So I sat in my car and ate my second sandwich. It then dawned on me how hot it was in my car. Before, I knew it was hot, but now it was really hot, like uncomfortably hot. I made sure to drink a lot of water, and then I brushed my teeth. After my teeth felt cleaner, I made sure to back up my car about 3 inches, then go forward 3 inches, that way I had just restarted my parking time, assuring that my car would not get towed. After doing so, I got out of my car and started a trek to Mandi's apartment.
Upon getting there, I sat in the shade and absorbed the coolness. Mandi didn't get out of her class until 4:30 and it was about 4:10 when I got there. It was a nice relaxing wait, but there was a part where some ladies dog started sniffing me, I then pretended to pet it, like there was nothing wrong with it, but I was really pushing it away. When I did so, all I could think about was the dirty germs on my hand. After relaxing and waiting, it was about 4:35, and I decided to call Mandi on the cell phone I borrowed from my father. She answered and said she would be right down. The fact that she was in her apartment made me wonder how long she was in there while I was waiting. I later found out she was only in there for about 10 minutes, so it was all good. Anyways, she came down, we greeted, and then we were off. At this point in time, my happiness grew exponentially, I could tell that this was going to be incredibly exciting. First, we had to go to an ATM machine so Mandi could get some cash. So that is precisely what we did. We had many grand discussions, from vintage Tuesdays at McDonalds to how the tile reminded us of the California Missions. After she got money, she got an orange soda, in which we discussed the important differences between orange drink and orange soda and why strawberry is only good sometimes. Then I made Mandi go back to my car, for I had forgotten my chap stick. After that excursion, we then waited at the bus stop, or the "Muni" as those San Fransiscaners call it. The muni then came, and we got inside it. There was like 5 kazillion people inside of it, so it was a tad bit crowded. We discussed various things here and such and while doing so, there seemed to be a problem. Apparently, we were supposed to get transfer tickets, or else we would be nothing but a couple of no good law breaking vigilantes. However, the transfer ticket lady seemed to not be giving them out. This caused a lot of people to that were traveling with us to be in distress. Several people came up to the front in hopes they would get one and most of those people asked us what was going on. In which Mandi answered them with her wisdom. Luckily, after a while of riding, the transfer ticket lady opened her booth and tickets were handed out. Mandi went to get the tickets and then she eventually came back. At that point in time, we happened to be next to these two Asian girls, and they were sitting down in the seats. One of them got up to go get them transfer tickets and on her way back, right before she got back to her seat, some old Russian guy sat in her spot. The girl’s friend tried to explain that that was where her friend was sitting, however, the Russian guy would not get up. I thought that was hilarious and I couldn’t stop smiling. After that, the rest of the ride was kind of uneventful, and then we eventually came to a stop and got off.
We were now in the open San Fransisco land. Mandi said that we still had to take another bus to get down to the venue and we could either do that now, or stay and explore the current area we were in. We did the second option. We walked around aimlessly for a while, until we realized that we had no idea what we were doing or where we were going. We then started heading back, but I saw a place called Streetlight Records and told Mandi we should go in there. So we went in there. As we walked in, I felt a bit uncomfortable due to the large array of gay interest movies they had prevalently displayed. I tried to ignore it and we looked at some of the movies. Then we went upstairs and we looked at the cds. I was so tempted to buy a Flaming Lips cd, but somehow did not succumb to the temptation at that moment. We looked at some cool cds and then when we were done, we walked out and started our trek over to the bus stop. Then we took a bus to the area where the venue was supposed to be.
Once we got off the bus, we had realized that we had no idea which way we needed to go to actually get to the venue. Mandi was pretty sure that it was one way, however I thought it might be the other way. We tried to figure out which way to go, and that is when Mandi had the brilliant idea to call Lauren and ask her which way to go. After the call, we were directed to go the way I thought, although Mandi was still a little unsure about it. We then started walking down a hill towards are destination. On the way down we saw a bunch of newspaper holders. I noticed one with an Onion symbol on it and wondered if it was The Onion. I looked inside and it was The Onion! So I picked up a paper and started to skim through it. While skimming I looked up slightly, and BAM! Some lady across the street got her leg ran over by a car. She was holding a box of oranges and once her leg got ran over, she collapsed to the ground, dropping all of her items and wasn't moving. It was pretty shocking and unexpected. I felt kind of bad, cause the only thing I could really think about was the fact that she was holding a box of oranges and if it happened in a movie, the fact that she was holding the box would make the scene comical. We stood there for a while and wondered if we should do anything, but a bunch of people had already called 911 and the ambulance arrived shortly after the calls. I also wondered, since I was a witness, if I had to testify about it or something. We decided that I didn't though, and then continued walking to the venue.
On the way there, a few people asked about the crash and we answered their questions. One guy who asked was this guy who looked like he could smash me, but looked friendly, so he probably wouldn't. When we told him what happened, Mandi asked if he knew where the venue was, and also stated that it might seem odd asking that after talking about the accident. He knew where it was and said to just keep walking down. That is what we did and we made it to the venue. A good thing to note right now is that I was very thirsty, in which I notified Mandi of this. We decided it best to get our tickets first, and then venture off to get drinks. As we approached the ticket booth, I caught sight of something that instilled fear in my body. I saw a sign posted that said, 21+. We waited behind a guy who was talking to the ticket guy, and then when he was done, we approached the ticket guy. I asked if he had any tickets for that night's show. He said they did, which was a good sign. Then I asked if the venue was really 21+, in which he responded yes. He also added that they strongly enforced that rule as well. I tried to coax him into somehow getting us in or telling us some way to get in. He said that he wish he could, but he couldn't. This was kind of sad to me, for I had just driven for 3 hours just for that concert and now I couldn't even go. We decided that the best decision at the moment, was to go get drinks and then come back and plot ways on how we could get in.
We then looked for a place that would have drinks. Surprisingly, I wasn't really angry or frustrated about the 21+ thing. It was a little annoying, but I felt really happy anyways. We then found a convenience store, so we walked in and went toward the drink section. I realized I hadn't had a Dr. Pepper in a long time, so I decided that is what I would get. Mandi on the other hand, spotted Coca Cola in the cool glass bottle. Yes, it does taste better in that bottle. We then paid for the drinks. I offered to pay for Mandi's but she refused my generous offer. Then once drinks were purchased, we started consuming them and walking back to the venue area.
It was then that we started plotting ways to get in. This is me plotting:
This is Mandi's Coke:
We continued plotting, but most of the reasons involved hoping bands playing in the show would come out and then for some reason get us into the show and that was highly doubtful. After a couple minutes or so, it was then that something spectacular happened. We were just standing there, and all of a sudden, Ferraby Lionheart walked by. I quickly nudged Mandi's shoulder and said, "That's him, that's Ferraby!" He was going to his van and getting a box of stuff. While he was doing this, we debated whether we should go talk to him or not. We were both kind of nervous and didn't really feel up to the challenge. And then after saying I didn't really want to do it, I walked up to him and said hello. At this point in the story, I must say, Ferraby Lionheart is such a cool person. We introduced ourselves and told him our situation on how we were not 21 and we couldn't go to the show. He seemed kind of surprised that we came to the show for him, and he seemed even more surprised when I mentioned I drove 3 hours from Sacramento to get there. He gave us his condolences though and said he wished he could do something about it. I then asked him if I could buy a T-shirt from him, in which he gave us a special discount price of 15 dollars as opposed to the 20 dollars he originally sold them out. Mandi and I then both bought this cool t-shirt of octopus's playing the drums. Then we talked a bit more and Ferraby mentioned that he might be able to let us listen to his sound check. When that was mentioned, I think a fuse of happiness just burst in my brain and was spread throughout my body. He then talked to the people who were guarding the venue and they ended up letting us in to see his sound check. So we helped Ferraby bring his stuff in and walked in to the venue.
The venue was pretty cool, it reminded me of a garage. A garage is something you put cars in usually. Anyways, we took a seat and Ferraby got up on stage and started setting up. Then when he was ready, he played Before We're Dead. Upon hearing the song live, I was very disappointed that I wasn't attending his show. It was a spectacular performance. Then, after the song, he left the stage and started talking to some people. Mandi and I discussed things. After a bit of discussing, Ferraby walked our way, and we spoke with him a bit more and we inquired him for a picture. He asked where we should take it, and I suggested on top of a table. He didn't seem very amused. We ended up taking it where we were standing.
Mandi then took a picture of me with him, which looks something like this:
Then, as I struggled to figure out how her camera worked, I accidentally took this picture:
And for some reason, Mandi didn't give me the picture of her and Mr. Lionheart. We then exchanged names and said some final words and thank yous and then we parted ways. We walked out the venue and the sun was shining brightly. We decided to explore San Fransisco a bit more, before retiring to Mandi's apartment.
So we started walking around, and that is when I thought it would be a good idea to bust out my harmonica.
And I played a few merry jigs on it. Even though I really only knew how to play one and a half songs on it. Then we continued walking and eventually stumbled upon a magical place. This place was filled with color and paint and trash! The first thing that was noticed was a painting with a bunch of famous people on it.
From left to right: Unknown, Albus Dumbledore, Martin Luther King Jr., Mahatma Ghandi, Rubeus Hagrid, and the moon.
Then we noticed some stairs where we took majestic pictures on.
Then we noticed this mermaid, which Mandi labeled as an awkward mermaid.
And those were the most important parts of that magical land. Then once we left there, we headed back over to the bus stop, in which we took the bus to the muni, in which we took the muni back to Mandi's apartment. Then we indulged ourselves with Don Hertzfeldt films. After which we did a mad lib. And then I left. On the trip home, I listened to Ferraby Lionheart's cd like 3 times. And that was basically the end of my day.
It was a spectacular day and you turn yourself about, that's what it's all about! |
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| A Step Into Manhood |
[May. 12th, 2008|11:17 pm] |
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As I sat there and heard him say, "I think it's interesting that they described the Smiths as pious," I remember thinking, that is odd that they would describe them as delicous fruit-filled pastries. |
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| Dial Log |
[May. 11th, 2008|01:18 am] |
I was sitting alone at my computer, typing up dialogues. Yes, that is how much of a life I do not have. Anyways, one of the dialogues I wrote stood out and I felt that it should be posted somewhere on the vast black hole of information some people call the internet.
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I think I’m in love.
Really?
Yeah, it’s pretty weird. I never expected that it would happen to me.
I never really thought it would happen to you either. What is she like?
She has brown hair and blue eyes. Which never seemed like a good combination to me, but it seems to fit so perfectly on her. She has really soft elbows too. Like if someone were to cut her elbows off and clone them and put them in a sack, it would make the softest pillow in the world.
She sounds beautiful, what is her personality like?
She’s into animal cruelty, which is kind of strange, but I think it only makes me more attracted to her. She also likes baking. She made me this cake the other day, and it
Wait, she made you a cake?
Yeah, and it was like the worst cake I ever tasted. So, while I was eating her cake which tasted like road kill, I just looked into her eyes and said, “You have very beautiful eyes.” She sort of blushed and then continued to pile more cake on my plate.
I never got why girls are so obsessed with eyes.
I know, right?
Yeah, I mean, when you ask a girl what she looks for in a guy, a lot of the time she will say, “I look at their eyes.” I mean, what does it matter anyways? Having pretty eyes is nice, but if a girl doesn’t have pretty eyes, it doesn’t mean she is unattractive.
But maybe it matters for guys. Maybe guys are ugly when they have ugly eyes. So if that is true for guys, maybe girls think it is true for them as well.
I guess that kind of makes sense.
…
…
How many hairs are located near your belly button?
46.
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| Only The Best Kite Ever |
[May. 8th, 2008|10:05 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | (Snoz) (Peach) (razzz)zzzzzz Bhueberrier | ] |
Today, Daniel Nickerson and I congregated at Daniel Nickerson's house to practice for this amazing ukelele/melodica band including Daniel Nickerson and I. And that is precisely what we did, but we also made a plan to make a kite due to the fact that it was windy yesterday. So we had our so called band practice and then after like a kajillion hours of perfecting our masterpieces, we went and started kite making.
We first looked for our kite making materials. We went into Daniel's garage and Daniel fetched some newspaper, and he looked for a piece of wood that he thought would help us, but it was nowhere to be found. We continued searching for it, and we even asked Daniel's mother, but unfortunately that did not help either. We then tried to figure out how to solve this problem. I suggested we could get pencils and tape them together. So we gathered some pencils and some masking tape and went outside and did that. It was 4 pencils long and 3 pencils wide. Then Daniel skimmed through the newspaper and cut out a crazy guy's face. Then moments later, he cut out an even crazier guy's face. Then he cut out a picture of a platypus. Next, Daniel put the pencils on a newspaper and started cutting the diamond shape of the kite. The first cut was done beautifully, and then the rest of the cuts kind of butchered the sides, making the kite infinitely better. We then taped the pencils to our newly formed kite. Now all that was missing was a tail and some string. We then created the tail out of floss and the pictures we cut out. There seemed to be one picture missing though, so Daniel cut out a picture of some crazy lady's head. Then we tied some floss to the kite for the string and our kite was finished.
We then needed to put our kite into practice. Daniel took it for a test drive in the street. Suprisingly, it flew well. Daniel then made a comment on how the immigrant workers next door were looking at him strangely. I then took a test drive of the kite. After flying it, it was obvious that this was the most amazing kite ever invented. We then decided it was time to put this kite into real life use. But first Daniel had to get shoes and such. While I waited for Daniel, somehow the tail got tangled with the string. I have no idea how it happened. It was probably the work of some sort of demon, who hated kites and parsley. Daniel returned and I showed him the mess that was made. We spent a while trying to untangle it, but alas, to no avail. Luckily, Daniel used his intelligence to go get scissors and cut the string and then re-string the kite. Now that our kite was once again in wonderful condition, we were ready to go to the park and have a kite flying adventure.
I don't remember much about the walk to the park. The only explanation for that could only mean that the air was laced with some sort of drug. We then arrived at the park. We went to an empty grassy area and then began flying our kite. One of us would run in a straight line, holding the kite, while the other would watch it soar up into the air and then watch it eventually crash into the ground. Every once in a while when our kite crashed, bits and pieces would tear or completely come off, but it was nothing our good friend tape couldn't fix. I could tell that all the other people in the park were totally jealous of our amazing kite. After realizing that our kite wasn't staying up in the air, we started thinking of ways that would help it stay in the air. I thought that it would be a good idea for me to go to the top of the play structure located in the middle of the park, so we could get the kite to start from a higher distance. Daniel seemed hesitant about the idea, but somehow, we did it anyways. While I was going up the structure, down below, the floss was getting in the way of a teenage couple trying to have a romantic time at the park. That didn't seem to bother me though, and I continued trying to get to the highest point and then I finally reached it. Daniel told the teenage couple they should probably move out of the way, but I assured them that the kite would not hit them. Even though the floss was strung right above their heads, I was pretty sure that it wouldn't hit them. They seemed very hesitant about it though, and so did Daniel. And even though I reassured them that it wouldn't hit them several times, Daniel still thought it would be better if he moved into a different location. So that is what he did. We then got into the right position and then I let go of the kite and Daniel ran forward. The kite went up in the air for an epic 5 seconds before crashing into the ground. When Daniel went to pick up the kite, he was approached by a man who was there with his son. I didn't hear much of what he said, but it sounded helpful. It was later revealed to me that he had told us the proper way to string a kite. After that, we decided it would be best to head back over to Daniel's house.
When we started walking, the first thing that we noticed was that the teenage couple was walking off in the distance. They must have been scared off by our kite. Also, on the walk, I noticed that there was a giant house on a hill with a really high balcony. I then suggested that we should try flying the kite from up there in the near future. I am not sure if I was serious or not. We also discussed other things, but I can't remember what we discussed. We then arrived at his house and that is when our adventure basically ended. But we made a vow that if it was ever really windy, no matter what we would find some way to meet up and we would make a kite on that time, and that it would be amazing.
Here are some photos of our amazing kite and our amazing kite flying adventure:
 |
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| Why The Brookstone I Work At Is Haunted |
[Apr. 30th, 2008|11:31 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | Add it up- Violent Femmes | ] |
Yes, the Brookstone I work at is haunted.
I have 2 facts that I consider as undeniable proof that this place is haunted.
1. There are two different vacuums that I have to use to clean the carpet in the store. The one I use is possessed by some sort of spirit. How do I know this? Well, when you turn it on, it moves around by itself. Yes, by itself. It just does what ever it wants to. It is frightening. Now, you might be asking, if it is possessed why would you use that vacuum? Well, it just so happens that the evil spirit contained in that vacuum makes the vacuum more powerful and it cleans more dirt, but it is still evil and still possessed!
2. The second fact, is a clue on how the vacuum was consumed by a spirit. We sell these tiny personal fans that you can put around your neck and use on a hot day. Well one day I was in the stock room and looking through stuff, when I say a couple of display fans sitting out of their boxes. I picked one up and examined it and what I saw on the fan was utterly disturbing. I saw a few red dots on the blades and a few strands of hair tangles up in the blades. I kid you not. That is what I really saw. So obviously, someone used one of those tiny fans to brutally murder someone, in which their spirit went to possess the vacuum and haunt their murderer. Unfortunately, they have had several staff changes, so I doubt the murderer still works there. I plan on telling the vacuum as soon as I quit, cause it just does so much better than the other vacuum.
Brookstone is haunted. |
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| The Most Confusing Oreo |
[Apr. 14th, 2008|12:54 am] |
| [ | music |
| | The Boy Least Likely To- I'm Glad I Hitched My Apple Wagon To Your Star | ] |
speagsmanatee: i just ate the most confusing oreo
speagsmanatee: i don't know how to explain it
upinatree013: the fact that there is such a thing as a confusing oreo confuses me
speagsmanatee: i will draw a diagram in paint
LATER!
speagsmanatee: ok, here is kind of a key for this diagram
speagsmanatee: usually, normal oreos have two fronts facing outward
speagsmanatee: however mine did not
speagsmanatee: 
upinatree013: teeheehee
upinatree013: i have gotten one of those before
speagsmanatee: i don't understand how such a thing could happen
upinatree013: it's pretty rare
upinatree013: you should feel like a chosen one or something t that extent
speagsmanatee: I think I feel more outraged than privileged in this situation
upinatree013: indeed?
upinatree013: did it affect the why the cookie tasted?
speagsmanatee: no, but when i took a bite, the back side kind of fell off in my mouth, as opposed to having a clean bite mark, therefore making it more of an inconvenienec
speagsmanatee: e before c
speagsmanatee: except after i?
upinatree013: i think the world just imploded
speagsmanatee: great, that oreo caused an implosion of the world |
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| Let's all take a bath! |
[Apr. 3rd, 2008|10:24 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | the same square as a narkel | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Tally Hall's Rerelease of Marvin's Marvelous Mechanical Museum | ] |
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| I Just Wrote The Pringles Corporation |
[Mar. 31st, 2008|12:39 am] |
Before I begin, I would like to quote something from a previous entry I wrote:
"While Aaron and I were snacking on Pringles, the stack kept getting lower and lower, until it got to the point where you have to stick your arm down there and desperately try to grab around to get a chip. Many a time I have found myself in this predicament, and I thought, they should put a perforation on near the bottom portion of the Pringles can, so when you get to the point where it's difficult to get your chips, you can just tear off the part of the can you no longer need, and continue eating your Pringles in peace. I really think this is a good idea, and will one day suggest it to the Pringle corporation."
Today is the day that I wrote to the pringles corporation, and this is what I said:
This is not a question, but I assume that I can address you about this issue here.
I had an inspiring idea, that I would like to share with you about how you can improve your product. I am sure you aware of the common problem of getting to the last couple of inches of pringles, and having to stick your arm in the tube in order to get those last pringles. It is very bothersome and usually results in greasy arms, broken chips, and slight frustration. My idea, is to add a perforation a few inches from the bottom of the can, in which, once you get to the point where it is difficult to get your pringle, you can just easily rip off the unnecessary portion of the can and easily get the rest of your pringles. I ask for no money and no rewards, just the satisfaction in knowing that the world can eat their pringles without any hassles or troubles of any kind.
I hope you take this into consideration.
Sincerely,
(My Name) under the pseudonym of Speagsmanatee
April 1, 2008, 7:02 P.M.
I just got a response today, the response saying this:
Thanks for contacting us.
We love to hear suggestions about improving our products or creating new ones; your comments help us decide what we'll do in the future. Be assured, I'm sharing them with the appropriate people in our company.
If you want compensation for an idea, it's important to know P&G can't accept an idea for consideration without a patent or a patent application. Once an idea is patented, the only way to submit it for review is through our website, pg.com. Just click on the word Company in the blue bar across the top of the page and go to the Connect & Develop area.
Hope this is helpful.
P&G Team
It sounds like an automated response, which kind of makes me sad. I should probably go to the company myself and address the issue. |
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| Strange Things Are Afoot At The Circle K |
[Mar. 30th, 2008|11:00 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | Brian Wilson- his Smile album | ] |
So last night, I went and saw that movie, 21, with my brother and my friend Tyler.
The movie was good, but that is not what I am going to talk about.
After the movie, I was feeling thirsty and Tyler was feeling hungry. So we debated whether to stop somewhere. We couldn't decide though, but eventually we got to a stoplight that was right next to a Circle K. So I asked him if we should go to Circle K, and for some reason my brother encouraged him to say yes, so he said ok, and we went into Circle K.
Inside this Circle K, I went to the beverage section and picked out a delicous Yoohoo chocolate milk. I then saw Tyler trying to put a donut in the fitted paper bags next to it, however, these fitted paper bags, were way to small for the donut to fit inside. I then noticed, the "toy section." I went and looked through and saw these colored techno rubber ducks. I showed it to Tyler and my brother, but they didn't seem to be amused as I was. That is when I saw them. Marvel 3D Stickers. The funny thing about these "stickers" is the fact that they were not stickers at all. In fact, they were plastic heads, with sticky bottoms. I thought this was pretty funny, so I showed Tyler. He then took a look and showed me the back of the box, which was one of the most ridiculous things I had ever seen. Now when I first saw these so called stickers, I thought that it was something someone would put on their car or something. However, on the back of the picture, there was a picture of a kid wearing a bicycle helmet, and placed on his helmet, was a 3D sticker. I thought this was hilarious. Tyler and I laughed about this for a very long time. I should probably also mention that Tyler bought one and that he got the Green Goblin one.
I just found that interesting. |
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| Animal Crepes |
[Mar. 15th, 2008|11:19 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | c | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Mrs Brown, You've Got A Lovely Daughter -Herman's Hermits | ] |
So the other day I was walking to my car from one of my classes, when some guy comes up to me and says, "would you like a pamphlet against animal rights?" So as I am walking by, I question the idea and then say, "uuuuuuuuuhhhhhhh, nah, it's ok."
Now, this happens every once in a while, but this time thoughts started going through my head
So what i thought was this:
These people can't just give people pamphlets against animal rights, that's a biased pamphlet! What they need to do is give out pamphlets for animal cruelty and against it, so people can look at the differences and choose what they think is right.
So what I think I might do one day, is make some pamphlets saying why animal cruelty is a good thing and then when I see someone handing out their flyers against it, I will hand people flyers for it right next to the person, to make it all right.
...And i also decided i should wear a giant puppy suit while doing this. |
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speagsmanatee's journal
